Writing-Defogging Blog

Here I am Again

Friday, June 28th, 2019

Here I am again.
This congregation.
This same room. These same prayers.
The same hopes and intentions, mostly, that I bring every year.

And yet I keep coming back
for another chance, another opportunity,
another beginning, that maybe this year
will be the one that makes the difference,
that this will be the year when I’m finally able
to cross off the big things from my list,
that I’ll do the to-do’s
and stop the to-don’ts.

Some years it feels like nothing much is different,
that I’m still stuck on the same old stuff
so the year that’s ending must not have mattered.
But it did; if I’m honest with myself
and consider all I’ve done,
I have moved on, if only a bit.
The year mattered.

After all the High Holy Days I’ve been through,
I now know that change isn’t always big.
For most of us, change doesn’t come in neon colors, accompanied by an oompah band.
the changes I make are small enough to fit in my pocket.
But they’re mine,
and along with a candy wrapper and a quarter for the meter,
my pocket
this year
is full to overflowing.

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